Thursday, 31st of May

The dream in The City last night, where I’m standing outside The Royal Exchange and have a hoard of crazed humanity charge at me. Only this time the dream went much further. I could feel the crowd above me, their sharp nails slashing into my skin and their fingers gourging into my eye sockets. My God! I could even feel them start to bite my flesh. I was being eaten alive by this insane pack of animals in human skin.
This morning I was still shaking when I called Dexter Phillips to tell him about it. He pointed out a case in Miami this week where a guy on bad acid ate a passing motorist’s face. There was apparently also a man in North Jersey who stabbed himself and threw his skin and intestines at the police. Dexter’s view is very much that there is something happening out there which our dreams are tapping into.

Wednesday, 30th of May

The Surrey Quays dream once again, only this time it got further than it has ever done before. In the dream last night I felt the sheer dread of what is about to happen, saw the frightened look in the pregnant lady’s eyes, and tumbled onto my arse as the ground ripped itself open. But last night I also saw – or think I saw – the thing beneath the ground. I couldn’t tell you now what shape it is, or what it remotely looks like, but I could tell that its hot burning eyes were boring straight into me.

Tuesday, 29th of May

In my dream last night I was stood outside the Surrey Quays shopping centre knowing that something awful was going to emerge from below. Of course I’ve had this dream so many times, I’m aware what’s going to happen before there’s a single tremor or hint of disturbance. But last night was different, the fear and intensity of the vision was so incredible that it was impossible to believe for even the fraction of a second that all would be well. The dread seemed to transmit itself onto the faces of all the passers-by. Every one of them looked absolutely terrified, as if they knew without a doubt that the steps they were taking right then were the last ones they’d ever take.
I woke with a yell of fear, covered in sweat. Julie was beside me, crying in her sleep.

Monday, 28th of May

Last night was the dream where I’m stood out on my street. I am alone, stark naked and staring at the houses opposite fully aware that something terrible is coming my way. It is going to crash from the sky and destroy all around me. What is it? I still have no idea, but as I stand there and feel the breeze tingle every inch of my skin, I know how dreadful it will be.
Just as dreadful is the fact that I’m alone. I know that somewhere there are other people having the exact same experience to me, but they so far away and I am completely unable to contact them. Instead I am utterly by myself, there is no one sympathetic around me. All I can feel is hostility. There are eyes peering at me naked and vulnerable, but each of the gazes is hostile and frightening. These people – hidden away behind their doors and windows – also sense this coming doom, but they are not responding with fear, they are lashing out with hatred for those who are not like them. Stood out on my street, I am very much not like them. I am trembling and afraid.

Sunday, 27th of May

Julie and I have stayed up late talking about it, we’ve called into work sick so we can stay at home discussing it. Sometimes we feel that Dexter Phillips may just be a crank and to give up our careers (admittedly, Julie’s career has had a lot more hard work go into it than my career) is sheer insanity. Equally, what are we going to say to our families when we disappear into the middle of nowhere in West Wales?
But then, the dreams come, so intense and unbelievably scary – so full of portents of danger – that something drastic seems like the only possible response to them.

Friday, 25th of May

In a way it’s blackmail, but clearly Dexter Phillips sees it as more noble than that. We are crusaders, he told us, our role is not only to save the world but improve it.

At the end of the afternoon he and Elvina/Denise left myself and Julie rather shell-shocked. He made it clear again that Wales was by far the best option, that he will look after any financial concerns we might have. This is our chance, he said, and we have to seize it.

We’ve spent the rest of the week thinking on what he’d said and wondering whether we should take this leap into the dark.

Thursday, 25th of May

Once all together in out Welsh country domicile, we can work out what these visions mean and which of them represents the true end of the world. When we have that information clear (Dexter Phillips thinks that will only be a matter of weeks) we will confront the world with the knowledge.

In fact we can do more than confront the world, he told us. We can make a great claim for seeing what is going on, but if people want to know the full story of what is about to happen then things have to change. The world is an ill place at the moment, seriously sick – and if they want the patient to be saved from death, then some of that has to improve before we tell them fully what is going to happen and what they have to do.

Wednesday, 23rd of May

The first step is to get all of us together, the dream guru said. It’s crucial that he is no longer the conduit, instead we should all be in one place and talking. Each day should begin with a discussion of what we’ve just dreamed, a comparison, so that we can interpret what we’ve seen and shape the vision that is being presented.
That is what we are, Dexter Phillips told us, visionaries of a new age.

He wants us all to resign our jobs, to give up our lives. With a twinkle in his eye he told us that he is rich, that his family has money. What’s more, he has a large house in West Wales. It’s quiet and secluded, and has plenty of room for thirteen people to dream safely and work out what’s going to happen next. This coming together has to be fast, he said, within the next few weeks. There’s no need to worry about notice periods or rents, he will handle all of that. We should just quit and go.

Then, when we are all in one place, we will plot what to do next.

Tuesday, 22nd of March

Those who have knowledge have power, Dexter Phillips told us.
We were sat in a small bar at Waterloo, the four of us – Dexter, Denise, Julie and myself – huddled across a small table in a darkened corner. There was a jukebox in the background, but it was as if Dexter’s voice echoed over us.

Undoubtedly we had the knowledge – Dexter continued – the thirteen of us together were seeing what was to come, we had access to the shape of the future. The notion that we were all mad, that we were all deluded was not an accusation that could be thrown at us. We came from different places, from different countries. If you were to separate us continents apart and test us, kept us away from each other, we would all still dream the same thing. The scientists (at that word I heard a slight tinge of sneering hostility) can run all the experiments they like, we would be able to pass them. We have the future in our heads, in our grasps, and it was time to use this information.

We have to let the world know.

Monday, 21st of May

Well, myself and Julie met with Denise and Dexter Phillips yesterday and it was huge! After a week of hearing about her dreams, of having them tally with the rest of the group, there was no hesitation on Dexter Phillips’s part. He clutched Julie’s hands and welcomed her like a prodigal daughter.
He has been holding back, he told us, until we were the correct number. There are twelve of us following him now, thirteen of us all enduring variations of the same dreams. We should be enough, he said, to prepare for what is undoubtedly coming.

Slowly he started to outline his full theory.

Thursday, 17th of May

Dexter Phillips tells me he has managed to get hold of a copy of my book, express delivery from Amazon. Elvina/Denise also has a copy. He says that he hasn’t read too much of the way into it yet, but he thinks he can see signs of the dreams already there. In some of my imagery, in the descriptions, he claims to see the beginnings of what is now happening to us. I told him that I wrote it two or so years ago now, before this began, it surely couldn’t be possible for him to see hints there.
There was a pause on the phone and then his voice raised slightly – both gently and determinedly. He asked if I seriously imagined that this has only just started happening. Did I not realise that this is something that has stretched back for millions of years? If this is the end of the world, then its roots are not new. Its roots would, undoubtedly be there at the beginning, and so what we are now tapping into is ancient.

Actually speechless, I just nodded numbly.

Wednesday, 16th of May

I had the dream of zombies last night (if that’s what they actually are).
I’m stood in The City on a beautiful summer’s day (so unlike the ones it’s been our pleasure to enjoy this May) and from the distance comes the pounding of rushing feet. Even though I’ve had this dream so many times now, even though a large part of me knows what’s coming, I still have all kinds of wild theories rushing through my mind as to what that noise could be. Is it some kind of runaway train? Is it a herd of buffalo? (A common sight in The City of London). Even though I on many levels know what’s coming, I still flinch when this mass of deranged humanity charges around the corner towards me. They come as a wave, an unstoppable force. There are all these people in suits and summer dresses and shorts and T-shirts; ostensibly normal human beings, now with the gleam of death in their eyes. It’s only when they are upon me that I really get afraid, that I crouch down and cry out when their fingers tear into my flesh.

Julie had a dream of being chased screaming outside her flat last night.

Dexter Phillips’ dream saw him on top of a hill looking at all this carnage humanity is ripping into itself.

The two of them are going to meet each other this Sunday.

Tuesday, 15th of May

It happened again!
Last night Julie had the same dream of underground terror that Denise, Dexter and I did. Of course she has heard so much about these dreams from me that it would surely be possible for her to recreate them in her psyche – and that was the reason why I didn’t tell the others about it yesterday. But the fact that she’s now had the same dream as us two nights in a row cannot just be a combination of an overactive imagination and coincidence. It has to be something more. I called Dexter Phillips and, after a moment’s pause, I heard his voice break into a smile. He very much wants to meet her.

Monday, 14th of May

I spent the night at my place last night, but Julie called me first thing to tell me of her dream. Incredibly it tallies with the very dream I had. I was stood on Oxford Street, she was on Regent Street walking to meet me. From nowhere there is a huge explosion. Of course she has heard me tell of this dream a couple of times, but the fact that it happened on the same night I dreamt it again and was seemingly so vivid for her has to mean something, right?

Sunday, 13th of May

And so I’ve had a lot to think about this week, a great deal to contemplate. I’ve been in contact with Dexter Phillips on a daily basis. Each morning I call him and tell him what I dreamt the night-before, then we compare notes. It’s interesting as when I have the dream of me stood on my street knowing something is going to strike from above, he has a dream where he’s outside his house with exactly the same feelings of anxiety. When I dream I’m in the Surrey Quays shopping centre with a monster rising from below, he is also dreaming of a subterranean doom coming for us all. I also speak to Denise, and it’s uncanny how closely the three of us dream.
Julie is fascinated by it. We stay up late and talk about in bed, and I tell her my dreams and Dexter’s dreams and Denise’s dreams and we try to interpret it all. She hasn’t seen the things inside my head, so as an outsider may spot some sign or hint I’ve missed. I’m glad I have her. She no longer looks at me as if I’m weird, instead she hangs on what I tell her and is there to offer help.

She’s a godsend. There are even moments when I think I’m in love with her.

Friday, 11th of May

At the end of the afternoon, with Elvina/Denise hanging on every syllable, Dexter Phillips leant across the table so that the tips of his fingers were nearly touching mine.
What we do next, he told me, is crucial. For whatever reason we have been chosen, we are important people in the world right now. We are the authors of the gospel of the future. As such, he said, we had to stay in touch. Not just in touch, in close and daily contact, so that we can be ready for whatever comes next. I have to share all my dreams with him, tell him every detail that I can remember. He will then compare them to the dreams of the others, and look for changes. The dreams are important because they are shared, but any changes to the dreams will be of crucial importance – as they will tell us what’s coming next. We have to know, realise and be prepared for whatever is coming next.

His eyes entreated me so earnestly to join his little family, Denise’s eyes did the same. I have been alone with these thoughts for so long now, how could I possibly say no?

Thursday, 10th of April

So what does this mean?
It’s what I asked, and I’m sure what you’re wondering too.

Dexter Phillips told me he doesn’t really know, all he has are theories – but his eyes brimmed with zeal as he told me of them. Maybe, he said, we are prophets. The fact that we’re all having these dreams must obviously mean something, and perhaps we’re here to warn everyone else. If we all come together, then possibly we can find some way to make people listen to us and advert whatever it is that’s going to happen. The belief bubbled in his voice, his words becoming faster while keeping their precision. He clearly thinks that we are saviours, here to warn humanity of impending doom.

Of course there have been people crying ‘The End is Nigh’ for thousands of years. And when you offer your evidence of impending doom as some alleged shared dreams, then people might not be inclined to pay attention. But, as I found on Sunday afternoon, Dexter Phillips is a man people listen to.

Wednesday, 9th of May

Within days, Dexter Phillips told me, he had moved out of the flat he shared with his (albeit increasingly distant) girlfriend and in with his student. It was an insane thing to do, something that was bound to anger the University authorities if or (more likely) when they heard about it, but the way he saw things there was no other choice. The dreams were so all encompassing, so much part of his life, that to be near someone who understood was all he could think of. He saw it as the sane thing for him to do.
Briefly he asked about my relationship status. I told him that Julie was trying to be very understanding, but didn’t really mention Alison. Even though I think she’s part of all this, the strangeness of what’s happened with Alison seemed an aspect to save for another day.

Before he was pushed, Dexter Phillips left the University and immersed himself in the world of dreams. There are apparently conferences and forums and get-togethers for dream seers, there are publications which exist both in print and on the web, designed to help people interpret their dreams. He made himself present in that world, told anyone who would listen what was happening in his head – what was happening in his young girlfriend’s head – and gradually he found people who’d had the same experiences, the very same dreams. Some came to him, some he sought out – but gradually a group is moving together.

He has ten so far, including himself. I am the eleventh.

Tuesday, 8th of May

Dexter Phillips spoke with great precision, his words striding forth determinedly and without hesitation. So despite his voice, there is almost an hypnotic rhythm to what he has to say. This is clearly a subject he’s thought of extensively. I, and Denise (who I think must have heard it dozens of times before), were both gripped by his speech.
He has been having these dreams for over a year. At first he thought nothing of them. In the past he’s been in therapy and knows that dreams are normally just a manifestation of internal problems, but these dreams just kept coming, getting more and more intense. He didn’t know what to do, he thought he was losing his mind – his relationship suffered and his job (as a university lecturer) started to slip away from him. Clearly he was cracking up, there was no other explanation.

But then he was talking to a student one day after class and was intrigued when she mentioned something about her dreams. His heart racing slightly, he asked her more. Their brief conversation turned into a discussion lasting hours. They realised that, although they had different perspectives, they were dreaming the same things.

Monday, 7th of May

Dexter Phillips – the dream guru – sat across the table from me in that cafe in Shepherd’s Market. To his side was Denise, the centre of attention in her Elvina persona every Saturday night, but now hidden away in his shadow. He stared at me with his cold blue eyes and started to speak.
His voice wasn’t what I was expecting. I thought he would have an American accent, but this man is clearly from somewhere in the North of England. Newcastle, perhaps Sunderland. The voice doesn’t fit the face, it doesn’t fit the attitude, being a lot more adenoidal. His words though were mesmerising.

This man clearly knows what he’s speaking about. He knows what I’ve been through.

Sunday, 6th of May

I’ve really concentrated on the dreams this week. They are all now so familiar to me that I’m able to take a step back and see what’s truly going on within them and look for clues, for things that are there which will help me understand. That’s both for my own benefit and because I desperately wanted to impress Mister Dexter Phillips. All week long I’ve been thinking about him, and what Denise said. That he is the man who has worked hardest to find the key to all of this, that he has the keenest understanding of what is happening to all the people (and it’s not just me) who dream. I didn’t want to go in there clueless, I didn’t want to be stumbling in with nothing to offer. Undoubtedly I want him to help interpret my dreams, but I also want to interpret some of them myself.
We met in the same coffee house that I‘d met Elvina/Denise in last week.  Initially when I arrived Denise was there alone and she greeted me with a soft kiss on the cheek and a nervous little smile. I felt myself sink within my shoes for a second, thinking that for some reason he hadn’t come. There was no problem though, she said, and then she left me at the table with an Americano and went out – with perhaps a little stardust in her eyes – to fetch him.

As the door opened I could feel the presence of him straight away, the sheer assurance. He’s really not a big man, being – I think – no taller than five foot five, but he greets the world with a solid confidence. Dexter Phillips walked in with a swagger, wearing tight jeans and a brown leather jacket. He’s a good looking guy, with blue eyes, tanned skin and wavy blonde hair – like some California surfer dude exiled from the 1960s. We shook hands and he smiled me a capped smile and then he sat down in front of me.

We faced each other.

Friday, 4th of May

At the end of our coffee it was difficult to know how to say goodbye. It was such an intense hour of conversation that I almost thought I should take her in my arms and hug her. Hold her close and thank her for opening my eyes, giving me salvation from the fear that I was cracking up, Instead after a second or two of fleeting awkwardness, we shook hands and said our goodbyes in a polite and dignified fashion. We are meeting up again this Sunday. She has promised to introduce me to Dexter Phillips.
When I told Julie about it she was amazed and impressed in equal measure. With excitement bubbling in her voice she asked me lots of questions, teasing out every detail. Clearly she’s gone from a kind of warm scepticism, to a serious belief. I think she wants to meet Dexter Phillips herself, but I want to see him first. She says that she also wants to meet Elvina, and I’m holding back on that for now. The Elvina who appears on the stage seems a much different person from the one I met at the weekend, and for now I’d rather focus on the part of her that’s Denise.

Thursday, 3rd of May

Meeting Denise was an incredible experience. The longer she sat in front of me, the less like Elvina she looked. More than that, she didn’t really sound like Elvina either. On the stage her voice is all power, a booming and yet subtly, sexual instrument. Talking to her to share confidences over a cafe table, her voice was much more nervous and soft. At points it was almost a whisper, with each word placed tentatively, yet precisely, in the correct order. The only time her tones got excited, was when she talked about Dexter Phillips.
Apparently he was the first to contact her, having had these dreams and been dreaming about her since the middle of last year. Even though he doesn’t live in London, he sought her out, tracked her down and persuaded her that what he was saying wasn’t totally mad. The other people in his dreams, he’s also had some success in tracking down (lord only knows how). The way Denise speaks about him, it’s like a fourteen year old discussing her favourite pop star – so dreamy and wide eyed, the quicker beating of her heart impossible to disguise. Apparently he’s incredibly knowledgeable, smart and is really building an understanding of what’s happening to us all. She didn’t say it out loud, but I imagine he is also somewhat charismatic.

She is going to introduce me to him this weekend. I cannot wait. Apparently he is anxious to meet me too.

Wednesday, 2nd of May

Elvina/Denise (I have to get used to calling her the latter, not the former) told me that there are a number of different people having these apocalyptic dreams. Perhaps, of everything she told me over that coffee on Sunday afternoon, this was the most illuminated. She has the spotlight, she’s in a position where people can come to her and seek her out.
I am not the first. There is a group of us coming together, we are coalescing. And at the centre of it is a man named Dexter Phillips.

He is having these dreams too, perhaps he had them before anyone else. He is interpreting them, finding out what they mean, helping his fellow sufferers. He is the dream guru.

Tuesday, 1st of May

And in those dreams she recognises me.
Not immediately, she said. It wasn’t as if she saw me on a Saturday night in the bar and instantly knew who she was dreaming about. (I am one of a sea of faces after all, I don’t have my own spotlight). But she said she did know me from somewhere, and then when she read the blog she knew from where. It’s incredible. She is keeping a dream journal and so has gone through and checked and we are having the same dream on the same nights, seeing the same things. But there are others she tells me – others whose faces stand out in this dreamscape, as if their consciousness is more part of it than everyone else’s. She knows who some of them are.

As you can imagine, this is incredible news. This whole thing, which has scared and worried me for the last few months, is not solely about me. This is something happening to lots of people.