Thursday 8 March 2012

Thursday, 8th of March

And so the dreams return. A week ago I felt so happy and confident, as if my dark days were behind me. I see now that these demons haven’t gone anywhere.
Last night I was in the park again, stood there watching Elvina and knowing – from the coldness at the back of my neck – what was going to come next. Clearly the end of the world is on its way, and last night it involved a large mushroom cloud.

Checking back on this blog I see that I didn’t know who the woman beside me was in my initial dream. Now I do know. It’s Alison and she is smiling at me. She’s smiling at me in such a way that shows she knows what’s coming and is seemingly looking forward to it.

I start to panic – a combination of the fear of what’s about to occur and the fact that Alison’s mere presence is so unsettling. But I don’t do anything. I stand there and watch as Elvina arches herself deliciously back in the sunlight. Then at the final moment Alison clutches my fingers and I clutch back. We smile at each other.

And then we go boom.

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