Monday, 9th of July

The week has been subdued, but also quite unnerving. Each night now we’ve had the same dream – The Manor as a God given sanctuary appearing over a hill. In the morning I wake up feeling safe, as if the walls are protecting me and nothing can harm me here, but then the realisation comes of what that means to the rest of the world if we’re the last bolthole. Nothing has happened yet, when I saw it Saturday the TV was still talking about Barclays, Libor and Andy Murray – while we sat together and talked about the end of the world. But surely there’s a way we can still warn people what’s about to happen. Surely there’s some chance we can make a difference.
For now Dexter Phillips doesn’t feel the same and is cutting off our internet access and removing our televison and radio to keep the world out – to “allow us to get used to what’s about to happen’. Everyone is going along with it for now, but there is a dark mood amongst us.

I will blog again when I get chance.

Friday, 6th of July

Despite Dexter Phillips’ calm demeanour, in spite of the casualness with which he delivered the news, the room fell silent at that point. We had come here to help after all, to put ourselves in a position where we could alert the rest of the world what is about to happen. The reason we came here was to be the warning beacon, the recue guard. Instead Dexter Phillips was making it clear to us that his vision saw this commune as the life-raft, we are the few chosen ones who will escape and set up a new world beyond the one we have now. Everything we have ever known will be gone, everyone we have ever loved will be dead (or now a slavering maniac, unrecognisable from the people they were before) and we would be asked to stride forward into this brave new world – as what? A group of Adams and Eves? Colonists from the past trying to carve out the future?
I think Dexter Phillips was surprised that when he delivered his talk with an almost breezy demeanour, some people began to cry.

Thursday, 5th of July

We will have everything we need at The Manor, Dexter Phillips told us. The house has its own generator, and there is a well in the garden and livestock on the grounds. There is the of course the slight chance of them being stolen or sabotaged in some way, but we’ve seen those in the world after the incident (that is the phrase he used – ‘the incident’) and such acts of calculated terror are clearly beyond them. We would be safe in The Manor, we could thrive in The Manor, and we could greet the world beyond on our terms.

All we have to do is get our heads around the fact that everyone we’ve ever known, and everything we’ve ever known, is gone.

Wednesday, 4th of July

Dexter Phillips’ message was stark, but delivered with a calm which seemed to me later almost eerie. He was the one person standing in the room – the rest of us sit on the floor – and he moved among us like a hip, young university lecturer addressing an informal study group. His tone had that quality too, conversational, casual, as if what we were discussing was not that big a deal at all. Or maybe that’s unfair, perhaps there was a slight sharpness to his tone – but no more than a weatherman letting the great British public know there was a nasty storm on the way.
The end of the world is coming, he told us, and we are the ones best prepared.

Tuesday, 3rd of July

The world won’t listen to what it doesn’t want to hear, Dexter Phillips tells us. Ask any environmentalist, ask any doomsayer about the economy – people do not want to listen to anything that affects the status quo, to anything which might disrupt their comfort.

But what we have to tell them is huge, the news we have to announce to the world is immense – and for that reason alone it won’t be listened to. The powers that be will just see this strange little community, a commune, a strange cult. You can see the words which will be thrown about already, we’ll just be another band of cranks. Even those out there who are similarly having these dreams will be encouraged to laugh at us. Nothing will happen if we tell the world, nothing all.

As such we have to accept that what we’re dreaming is going to happen and there’s nothing we can do to stop it. And with that in mind we have to be in the right place when it happens.

Monday, 2nd of July

The same dream two nights in a row for all of us. Again we all woke up having seen visions of The Manor appearing over the hill as a haven, a sanctuary. Once more this caused a buzz of excitement around the dining room in the morning. As having spent the last few weeks discussing the same dreams we’ve all endured for months on end, this is something exciting.
Only Dexter Phillips was unperturbed, only he retained his calm. Finally Elvina/Denise asked why – and his reply was astonishing.

Apparently he’s been having this very dream for months, seeing this house as a sanctuary – and that was one of the reasons why he brought us here to Wales. He has determined that London is not safe (indeed no cities are), that it’s tainted. As he explained this to us, he even pointed to me and said that the same thing is in my book, a sense of London as a place filled with danger and fear. That’s why he wanted us to leave. Not that we could all be together in the country necessarily, but so we could all be safe from London.

We are the chosen ones he told us, and so we have to be together and protected away from those in the towns and cities.

Sunday, 1st of July

A new dream!
It is afterwards. After the object has fallen from the sky, after the virus has infected the majority of the human race. I am staggering in the darkness through the countryside. My legs ache and my feet are blistered, as if I’ve been running for days. In the distance I wonder if I can hear these ‘new’ people, the infected ones, but in my rational mind I know that they mainly stay in the towns and cities – better pickings there. They are not going to pursue me over fields and hillocks, and yet still I run.

It’s incredibly dark. Of course it’s been dark for a long time now, but the countryside is like stumbling through sheer blackness. I have fallen and tumbled so many times, I even think my shoulder might be fractured. But still I go on, even though I know there’s only a small chance I’m being chased, it’s still enough to spur me forwards.

Suddenly I find myself at a ridge. Hearing (or imagining) some nearby sound, I desperately try to scrabble up at it, kicking away with my feet and aching arm. Finally I pull myself to the top and beyond is like heaven.

There’s a house, a grand old house, but one that is actually lit and so looks protected. The light from it shines into the sky so ethereal. With a gasp of joy I start pelting towards it.

I dreamt this in my room within The Manor, a large house in West Wales. The house in my dream – and we all had the same dream last night – is clearly The Manor.